triceratosp:

dw are you fucking retarded

the-august:

Forever Calendar Stamp
  • (I am working a morning shift at a cafe. We are serving breakfast. A little boy and his mother enter the cafe.)
  • Me: “So, what will it be?”
  • Child: “I WISH TO DEVOUR THE UNBORN.”
  • (There is a sudden silence and everyone turns to look. The mother looks very embarrassed.)
  • Mother: “Eggs… he would like some eggs…”